2011

January 29th 2012.

Excuse me what? Could I wake up from this dream sometime in the next minute and return to December 2009 where I know real life is...

is it just me or does anyone else feel like we are living in the future?

I just turned 21 and its fucking 2012. People are getting married and having kids... and everytime I find out someone else from high school is pregnant I am like, "Ohhh MYYY GAWWWDDDDD WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO?!" and then Lauren is like, "Laura she's like 21 and engaged. She's gonna have the kid." Like its just... normal to be having babies. I feel like we are sooooo fucking young still why is everyone preg and married??? #divorce #abort #kidding #lol

Anyway, I'm sure its been a while since I last posted in this sappy non existant blog anymore, but its like 4 am and I just moved home and I haven't done any drugs today so I can't sleep. I started smoking weed almost a year ago I think... January of 2011. Its really funny story actually... I was trying to clean my ratnasty apartment at Hampton Farms while my roommates were out. I am sure we were all fighting and sick of each other by that point. Anyway, I was getting ready to clean and noticed that I had no trash bags but I also had no money. So I text my friend Caitlin telling her my dilemma and out of the kindess of her heart she invited me into her home and was going to let me use some nice durable black trash bags, I think 3 to be exact. Well anyway we sat down and got to talking and mind you, I had just had a really bad break up, was struggling having my own first apartment, learning how to pay bills and such, and was really stressed out.

"Do you have any weed?" I asked her.
I couldn't believe the words that had just came out of my mouth. Caitlin, just as stunned as I was, with a smirk on her face, and in her low jazzy voice said, "Absolutely."

I was super nervous, my mom taught me that if I got too close to the microwave as a kid that I would get cancer. So she warned me about the deadly substance known as "marrriiijooooannaaaaa."

"You put your finger on this hole right here and suck for a minute until you get a hit, and then you can let go of the shotgun and inhale," Caitlin told me.

WHAaaatttttttt???

So I watched her do it first. Then it was my turn.

Inhale number 1...

"I don't think I got anything.."


Inhale number 2...

I definetely got something... having a small couhging fit, I could at least tell I was doing it right. After a few more of the repeated steps, all of a sudden things looked a little different. Along with the feeling in my body and head, my vision was a bit different. I was a little happier, and everything was a little funnier. And then I got hungry. Then I took Caitlin out and we *bought chipotle. And that was the first time I got high.

It was such a god damn fucking escape from the colourless world around me, not just the weed but the fun time I had smoking with Caitlin. Being nutty and crazy and laughing at everything we thought was funny. As loud as we wanted. Each day after that I was interested in smoking again... more and more...

and now its 2012 and the last year of my life feels like a crazy... crazy blur of just glitter, weed, alcohol, paint, sex, love, hate, tears, mess, lies, and orgasms. I did a LOT of crazy shit. Fucked up shit. ooops. my bad. thats why I have a tattoo that means sinner in greek. I would never change 2011 for anything.

And I can't wait to see what 2012 has in store....

hopefully some crack.

jk I think ima start working out a bunch oh and im like kind of a vegan. like... 90% of the time... its like my sexuality. Im such a wishy washy bisexual vegan fuck with fried hair.


ughhhhh. night