The Fuck?

So I was really tired this morning and this after noon as I was taking a nap, as I kept waking up and re setting my alarm to 1:10pm, 1:25 pm, and so forth. Finally hopping out of bed around 1:30 pm I quickly rushed down the stairs in an uproar about how much I hate school and didn't want to go take a damn test blah blah blah blah. I see my mother quietly sitting on the couch assuming she is being awkward and weird like always and I ask her what's wrong and she told me Fluffy, the family's 15 year old grey-ish silver persian feline friend is sick. You know, we have had our number of puss's over the past years and I have learned that cats live, get sick, and die. Along with birds,fish, sperm, and our grandparents. It is a part of life when you have animals that they will get sick and no longer be able to be with us. I told my mother I was sorry and she asked me if that was all I had to say about our cat dying and I was like YOU DIDN'T TELL ME HE WAS DYING! THE BITCH COULD OF HAD THE COMMON COLD LIKE WHAT DOES SICK MEAN TO YOU? I really didn't have time to argue the legistics of my cat's last few years/months/whatever. No one really knows what is wrong, he is a furry friend and I will go pet him soon.Regardless, I didn't have time to argue because I had to get to my test in "How Life Works" at 2:00 pm. "How Life Works"... amI even going to touch on the title of that class...? No. SO I am driving, driving, driving along and all of a fucking sudden I see one of those big yellow flashing arrows that is telling you to get over a lane and there is all of this backed up traffic and I am just like REALLY????I AM SO FUCKING HAIPHEY BECAUSE I HAVE TO TAKE A TEST AND YOU CHOSE TO DO CONSTRUCTION ON THIS ROAD RIGHT NOW??? IT DONT NEED NO FUCKING CONSTRUCTION.

So I got passed that and I reach McMillian whatever the fuck mcchicken suck my dick street and I CANT EVEN FUCKING DRIVE UP IT!!!!!!!! IT IS BLOCKED OFF LETS PUT SOME NEW BLACK TOP DOWN WE DONT HAVE ANY OTHER USES FOR THIS MONEY PERHAPS THE CITY COULD PROVIDE MY FUKCING HOUSE WITH SOME DAMN MOTHER FUCKING CABLE OR AT LEAST SOMEPIZZA ROLLS CAUSE I AM DAMN FUCKING HUNGRY. So I have to drive ALLLLL THEHHHHEEEE WAY down almost to fucking northside, I should have just gone to Bronz, I would have learned a lot more and there are way cooler people.

So naturally I was a little late to my exam and I walked in huffing and puffing, sit down look at the test, have NO idea what this shit is about, I have let my acedemia go whack lately and so I was like well FUCK. Then there are all these mother fuckers like taking the test and I just have no idea where rRNA likes to hang out on Saturdays you know? SO I bubbled in the few answers I knew, from question 30-60 I answered 1/3 C, 1/3 B, and 1/3 D all in a row. Because my teacher once told me if I dont know the answer and I have a word bank. Use the same word on all 20 questions, because then you will at least get 1 right. That teacher later was fired for snorting cherry jolly ranchers during my OGT, but that is another story for another time.

So I got up after 20 minutes, first one done, obv the kid who didnt study, and I mean I wasnt embarrased,it is no more embarrasssing to leave the test early than it was to arrive late huffing and puffy with these nasty troots and a half clean shirt that reads "Je$u$ is Neat." on the front.

CALL INS ARE WORTHLESS.

I remember in third grade I told my fellows classmates that I didn't play by the rules.

I may not have a clean room, there might be mcchicken wrappers at the bottom of all the junk in my car, perhaps even a hard as a rock couple weeks old bun. There might be dark eyeliner circles forever tattooed underneath my under eyes, and I might not shower everyday. I might have had one too many detentions in highs school, and I might have never been on time to class. I may not have been the head cheer leader or student council president, and I might have gotten kicked off the newspaper staff. (But who is 19 and writing for the Cincinnati enquirer and who still is teaching high school students? ;] ) I might have talked during your classes and been a little obnoxious. I might have cussed out my german teacher on the final day of classes my freshman year. I may have been fired from a job here and there for writing blogs online or not attending CPR seminars. I may have no money in my bank account and the nail polish on my fingers might be two months old.

I may not be perfect in the eyes of most of you, but to someone I am. All of the little imperfections and flaws are what makes me who I am, and I might not play by the rules all of the time, but I sure as hell live my life to fucking fullest every damn day I am alive, from when I wake up, to when I shut my eyes. I know how to stretch out 24 hours into a lifetime. So I may not have gotten straight A's-ever. And I may never accomplish that, but at the end of each day I feel as though I made that day count even more than the one before. I feel like that, is living.

what

I think if we are going to yell at horny teenagers for sexting there should probably be a law that says you can't leave your christmas lights up past valentines day, as both result in angry neighbors.

All of these drag queens on facebook make me want to delete them, and it's not just because they update their status about their next show every five minutes either, a lot of it has to do with their lack of education and horrible, horrible grammar. I am making a vow to be the most educated drag queen The Dock has ever seen.

Don't you think if you got fired from your job this week you should probably stop playing farmville and at least go to like jobmonsterhut.com or something and pretend like you are trying to fix yourself and your situation...?

I think arrogant people are the happiest people.

Some girls were just born with testosterone in their veins... don't judge. JD.

Remember when I put a poster of Chad Michael Murray on my wall? I don't.

we should all stop pretending that facebook is just a social networking site and probably begin to not only offer minors but majors with courses that actually apply to every day life. like if you wanted to be a private investigator, you know reading someone's wall to wall is a lot like investigating crimes accept it's not. at all. and like farmville 101 and happy aquarium classes. we really shouldn't even leave our rooms we can all hang out on facebook every day. no need to bathe, eat, or put on make up since we can live off of this flourescent light beating on my ever so large pupils at the moment.

have you ever noticed that FAILURE spelled backwards is JUSTIN BIEBER?

Just like there is a pizza guy, cable guy, plumber and so forth, I want to be the designated krispee creme woman. whenever someone is out of doughnuts or just wants some, call me or visit my website and I bring you some doughtnuts and stuff.

If you cut your hair you are basically letting everyone know that they won.

Don't beat around the bush.

When you are at a resteraunt and you order and appetizer, chill out first of all. appetizers are for the weak. but chill if you dont have little plates to set your little food on. they are coming. its okay. you don't really need your slushy refilled... you don't. no more ranch sauce. no.

I think we all could learn a lot from that welch's grape juice girl. where did she go anyway?

OMG LYKE?

So I really want to start making "video blogs" or vlogs as chris chrockre and jimmy nuetron would like to call it. So I made one that is about 5 minutes long and I am trying to upload it to youtube as we speak, and it says it is going to take 7 hours. Like wow, I really didn't know it took seven fucking hours to upload a video of myself it's like how much weight have I gained since christmas anyway?

So I am scrolling through faceobok, duh, and people are updating their statuses right now, mind you it is 2:13 am, about HOW EXCITED THEY ARE FOR GLEEE TONIGHT OMGZ.

Like, yeah, its okay to like glee, but, SHUT THE FUCK UP. I swear, people pride themselves on liking things that are "generally" for younger viewers. Like I swear, in highschool all the tricks that have since gotten pregnant, and or fat, used to have satuses about OMGGGG ZACCEFRRRRRON<3

And they thought it was cute. I just want everyone to shut up once in a while and let me holler at some dilliecam. duh. I have horrible horrible issues with people who join facebook groups. Like if everyone didn't already know that you like to flip your pillow over to the cool side at night so you can fall asleep quicker, we do now. and I wanted to thank you for joining that group, so I could know, so I can now, sleep, at, night.

If you send me a facebook chat message... and I don't reply, chances are I am whacking off, or I just don't want to talk to you. Yes, that is for you Eileen. Stop sending me 3,4,5, 12 messages saying "Laura???", "Hello???"

I am going to cyber bully you into next Thursday. It is funny how Facebook is the IMDB of the less famous. And I just want to address all of you "semi-popular" girls out there... come on, don't shake your head. We all know who we are on the totem pole...

so to you wanna be popular girls who take pictures with the actual popular girls at parties and dances and run home and upload them real quick and take the popular girl... it is like you just met Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, and Jason Derulo all at once! Chill, wait a few days... maybe even make THEM tag themselves?? ;) it shows "you don't really care you are TC to tag" and hopefully you will get an invite the next time the cheerleaders all go cabrewing.

I think that is all for me today, oh wait no, let me go join this facebook group called I JUST RANTED FOREVER ONLINE NOW I AM GOING TO RE READ MY RANT AND THEN GO TO SLEEP BUT BEFORE I DO I AM GOING TO FLIP MY PILLOW OVER TO THE COOL SIDE BECAUSE I HATE WHEN ONE OF THE STRINGS ON MY HOODIE IS LONGER THAN THE OTHER.