Do you ever look around yourself and wonder how you came to be where you are? You probably do. Who doesn't fucking do that? I dont know why I thought I was special. What I am trying to say is I know I spent my whole young life wondering what was going to happen to me as a grew up and what directions life would take with me and my surrounding family and friends. It is just so weird that no one is close anymore.

For instance, I remember playing with my brother, he was my best friend. Going to the pool together and hanging out with the girls on the swim team. Where are they now? I haven't spoken to any of them in years. We all go to seperate colleges. Mostly in different states. And my brother? He is engaged. He spends all of his time with some girl he met at his first job maybe 4 or 5 years ago at the grocery store by my house. We all worked there together.

Where is Lauren, my best friend in the entire world. She is currently in Florida with her long term Boyfriend, Chaz. I just... I remember when she started talking to them... I remember Andy's first date with his fiance Nicole. Who knew it would turn into this? Who knew years later hed be getting married to her and Lauren would move half was across the country to drop out of school and work as a Bank Teller with Chaz. I am not saying its bad but... who knew.

Who knew I would be a theatre major living in kentucky all inked up with a long term girlfriend spending most of my time in the gay night life scene. Staying up all night and sleeping all day. Working at a local bar and dropping all of my classes but one. Who knew I would be so involved with drag and trannies and things I never even heard of until a few years ago. Who knew I would room with Nick Hellmann and Shannon Sharp. Who knew I would ever smoke pot? Who knew I would turn out to be someone I probably wouldnt have spoken to in high school.

Where is Sammi? My old old best friend from middle school. The first girl I ever kissed. SHe is living in price hill with her boyfriend now. Its so weird how we have all grown up and taken on these different journies of life. It seems like it went by in the blink of an eye. We really do need to cherish the time we have here. It truly goes by so quickly. I used to wonder what my life would be like when I went to bars with my girlfriends sitting around sipping fruity drinks. Well guess what Laura, your life is here. And you aren't at some bar drinking cocktails with your friends. Instead, I am at some hole in the wall gay bar drinking a bud light wearing jeans and a hoodie. Not what I pictured. But I love it. I like it. I like my life alot. I really love my girlfriend when we aren't fighting. I feel like most of the fights are my fault but I really think you know, it probably isnt worth it what we fight about. I should probably just calm down most of the time. Relationships will never be perfect, but for some reason I continue to fight for this one and never let go. I want to. I love you.

I want to listen to Mine by Taylor Swift right now. If that is the correct title.