my head is pounding right now with ideas words letters and sentences. today something really weird happened weather wise. There was like this huge storm and rain and thunder and lightening and the sirens went off and shit was crazy. not only was shit crazy for you and all of the asians I was watching walk to school in it, but it was crazy for me inside the apartment too. I felt like a huge storm was brewing inside of me my mind, my heart, my soul and my body. I am scared and I feel a mess. I feel like I am losing something, a huge part of me is dying. so then I laid down in bed and I called my mom and shane and I realized that I was going to be okay. I then looked out the window and the storm was over. The sun was shining in on my sequined stained carpet and Audrey Hepburn poster. So today I made a huge relization that even though bad storms are going to happen in your life, the bad time is going to pass and that sun is going to come out and shine on you and you are going to be okay. spring has sprung again and its time for beautiful days picnics in the park, flowers, sunshine and happiness. time for new beginings and time for me to be me. I know in my heart everything will be okay. if not forever but temporarily.

I dont know I dont know how I feel about saying everything is going to be okay? Is it? Is it really? I think it may be a lie we tell ourselves to calm us down when in reality we may never be okay. We also may never be happy either. THink about it. We ALWAYS ALWAY ALWAYS want something we dont have. Its a hard battle to fight but thats life. But I dont want to write about that I want to be in the happy mood I was in. Then, I started watching Lady Gaga's interview with Google and she said something that I relate to so much as a writer. She said something about how we can never fight our creativity. And I know that is something I do constantly. Especially lately I am always having a great idea for a story, a book, a title, a song, a cartoon, an outfit, a joke, you name it. But I am usually just too busy enjoying life to take the time to write it down or like gaga said I am too tired at night. I need to stop fighting the creativity that God and Gaga are giving me because that is the worst crime you can commit. It's my duty as an artist to express my creative thoughts to the world and my fans.