Liberation part I

Saturday, January 15th 2011. A day for liberation. A day to remember. A day to Live.

I woke up late for my 9 am shift at Bob Evans, just like any other day. Dreading getting there and hating my life thinking about going in. Trudging through the snow in my coffee and syrup stained uniform that forever smells of biscuits and gravy. I texted my friend Jesse to see what station I was in, to see if it was worth going in for. You see, at Bob Evans, like any rastraunt, there are sections with booths and there are sections with tables. Sections with booths are known as: The 30's and 40's. The 50's and 60's. Reserved for Tabitha, Janet, Jenny, and Melissa BENNET. Then there are the table stations: The 10's and 20's, and..,..eti0943ut30760y5 don don don... THE 70'S AND 80'S!!!!! (lightening strikes, thunder rumbles, and you see a scary tree outside your window shaped like a big farm burger)

The 70's and 80's is a placed reserved for the shaftees of The Farm. Aka Me, J Dusing, Chelsea Fee(occasionally) oh KEITH! haha definitely keith and on a rare occasion you will see Tabby over there. Melissa Roth isn't even lucky enough to serve in the 70's and 80's. She is restricted to the counter and doing carryout.

Well, for ONCE in my life I was scheduled in the 30's and 40's... but since I trudged in late because I dont give a fuck and the managers are retarded as cherry bread on rye and didnt know they had scheduled Chelsea Fee... they decided to give her my spot in the boothes and thus I was shafted over to the 70s and 80s. I think I made 13.75. Regardless, this is all just background information for The Great Escape.

After considerably thinking about how much shit was going wrong in my life at the time and how I hate my job and everything to do with northern kentucky and how for once I just wanted to fucking do something for me. MYSELF. I didn't want anything to hold me back. Job, money, school, nothing. I decided I was going to drive down to Florida on a whim and enjoy my life over the long Martin Luther King holiday. God bless that intelligent little african. I asked my friend Jesse if he would go with me that morning and we both started freaking out about it and really wanted to go and of course we are both huge tools so we worked Saturday night as well so we decided that at the end of the night we would pack up our bags, hop in my 2002 Navy Blue Mazda 626, and hit the road. Only problem is we are toolsx2 and both worked all weekend. How are we supposed to run away and enjoy our lives with nothing stopping us if we are scheduled to work? Easy answer. Leave a note on a napkin for your manager saying you are going to Florida, be back in a few. Which is exactly what I did. but it wasnt on a napkin. And it had a lot more detail to it.

I took the note back to my manager on duty and explained to her how my agent got me a last minute audition in with a disney cruise ship in orlando and had to leave promptly. She told me she didnt know if I would have a job when I came back and I looked her dead in the eye and said, "Welllp, this isn't my life." She wished me well on my "audition" and off I went. (***Side note, it wasn't a total lie, I totally performed the fuck out of every Kesha song at a local gay bar in jacksonville, FL, which will be told later on in the story.)

So off we were, like two donkeykongs in a forest, just me jesse and the open road. A total of 12 hours to get there, we spent our time listening to tracks of Kesha, M.I.A and The Donnas, and awesome all girl rock band from the 80s who I was introduced to. Crazy and edgy with excitement and anticipation, screaming our hearts out, beeping my horn loudly whenever we got excited, and making fun of everything, the drive was amazing. As I was getting tired of driving and looking for a place to recharge for a little while, and by a place I mean a fucking WAFFLEHOUSE, I was driving somewhere in North Carolina and all of a sudden right in front of my eyes a beautiful bright gleaming star fell right out of the sky. It didnt shoot or go sideways or anything it just fell. So I guess I saw my first shooting star. A little after this I saw some signs of civilization and an exit sign with a Waffle House on it so it was time to get off the express way, and put some waffles inside of me.

As I got out of the car, it was still ice cold. Well cant expect much difference in North Carolina of the weather. And for someone who had only been out of the tri state once in her life, and it was leaving on an impromptu trip to Chicago, just being in a different state was so cool to me. I went inside and my waitresses name was Keisha, so of course I called her Kesha. Still being in awe of being in a different state I said am I really in North Carolina? and She looked right back at me and said "oh honeyyyy you're in Cannnntonnn North Carolinnaa nowww." It was just really awesome the way she said it with an accent. And then she sand we r who we r accapella.

After a quick recharge, Jesse got behind the wheel. This was about 4 am. I took a nap until about 7, switched with Jesse and trucked it the rest of the way to Jacksonville, Florida.